we preach but...

I was in the car this morning. While waiting for my dad pergi bank.. sambil tgk kat luar tingkap..menikmati pemandangan yg indah..suddenly one lady yg baru nak masuk kereta threw rubbish from her car onto the road! I was like..are u for real makcik?? You don’t want your car to be filled with rubbish so you dumped it elsewhere?? The best part was her children (I’m not sure how many) were in the car! Even though anak mungkin x perasan..still..she threw the rubbish ikut suka hati je. Ok..sorry if I got carried away..I am not mad at this makcik actually..It’s just unbelievable..and kinda hilarious too. I mean as a parent, I am sure she must have preached to her children to keep the house clean or to not litter at public places..but her actions are contrary to what she might have taught her children. Ok..let say her own children tak Nampak..but there is a possibility that other children in other cars might have seen it..right? So what does this imply? It is a common fact that children learn through looking at models..especially adult models. Thus, parents, who are the closest to them will be their main role model – children tend to follow what parents do. So just imagine the kind of conflict nilai that children will go through when they saw their parents do something that is a total contradiction to what they have been taught about.. Eventually, through constant observation, the children might say: ‘Hey! My parents did that..so i guess it’s the right thing to do!’ and we don’t want this to happen. I am not trying to find fault or burukkan others..I apologize if I sounded like I am intending to..trust me..that’s not my intention. It’s just that it’s sad that we keep on saying that we need to have a first class attitude and mentality..but what we practice regurgitate the cycle of third class attitude..without realizing that we are in a way shaping the mentality of the younger generation to be the same like ours. This is our problem..we preach..but we don’t act upon it..we say..but we don’t really mean what we say. Realistically, looking at what’s happening around us..will we be able to achieve the goal that we have set? This is not just a point to ponder..but a notion to be seriously considered..

friend oh friend..

Friends..what friends really mean actually? Well I guess we have our own definition of it. Honestly, I don’t even know how to define it in words..i mean i have the idea about it but if i were to describe it in written symbol..it would be too long..trust me. So what about friends? Well i have this story to share. It happened to someone i know..and i think it’s worth sharing. However, I want to make it clear that I am not intending to buruk2kan sesiapa..this is just for the purpose of sharing so that hopefully we may learn something for it. Im not gonna go into details coz if i did, it’s gonna be like a 1000-word essay..so i’m gonna narrate the important parts. To make it easy, let’s use labes: A-the person I know, B-A’s friend, C- a boy who is close to A as a friend. Here goes..

B suddenly acted differently towards A..i mean like out of the blue. A realized it but A did nothing because A bukan jenis yg suke sibuk2 hal org. Ok then one day..like 5 days later..A was having a chat with C..and then B lalu. A and C dah reserve tempat utk B duduk tapi B pegi tempat lain n hilangkan diri. Then A dapat tahu yg B tgh nangis in the toilet. So A went to the toilet to ask what was happening. B was with another friend who tried to comfort her. A was feeling weird because A kinda felt that ‘the scene’ has got something to do with A. So A asked what happened..B told A that A has changed a lot because of C..which is ridiculous coz logically, B was the one who suddenly changed..duh! the best part was, B blamed C saying that C has caused the friendship between A and B to somewhat shatter..which is a laughable argument because B was the one who suddenly ‘came out’ with a problem which is not actually a problem. Well, all the things that B said was actually excuses because A found out that B was actually jealous that A is close to C (Now you can see who’s actually creating the problem). And the best part is B only texted A saying ‘sorry’ ..while B called C to apologize and even sent messages (isn’t it obvious that B is into C?) and judging from B’s action, it seemed like B was more concerned with C than with A walaupun diorang dah lama kawan.

There are many more actually but I think this should be enough to share what happened and to help me make my point. Often do we see or experience or hear from other people about this kind of thing..you know..this cliché stuff where friendship is broken because of jealousy? I mean looking at the real-life example above..is it worth it? Imagine you have been good friends with someone and suddenly this someone turns his/her back at you because he/she is jealous? Or because of other reasons such as misunderstanding which is also often a product of jealousy? Kadang2 tu takde apa2 pun actually..kite je yg suke fikir yg buruk2. A was really frustrated because of B..sebab they used to be close friends..but in a way i think it’s a blessing coz at least A got to know B’s true colours. Trust me..it really hurts when your friend do something like this..especially close friends. I haven’t experienced such a thing that was experienced by A..but I did experience other things that kinda related to it. I am not saying that i am sooo good and that I’ve never hurt anyone..i am sure that at some point in my life I may have hurt somebody..maybe unintentionally. But I have been frustrated too..and God knows how it felt. But going through it has made me stronger. I used to be someone who meratap because of such things..you know asking why and why and why he/she did this to me? But i then realized it was tiring and entah2 org yg buat salah tu tak rase bersalah pun. So it’s a waste of tears. The thing that has successfully made me stand up on my feet again every time I face such problem is the thought that I have my family by my side and that I have many other wonderful friends whom I can really count on. So I kinda came up with a simple policy..i can be a good friend but if you crossed the line..that’s it. I can forgive but it’s really hard for me to forget. I am not being mean..but seriously..if someone does this to you..wouldn’t you feel the same thing? I really hope that it will not happen to anyone of us..but hey, lets get real..it’s humans whom we are dealing with. Hope that we (especially me) won’t do such a thing to our friends..

just a thought..

Humans are actors..as Shakespeare said. So what does this mean? In the context of teaching, I think that we, as teachers, need to be able to be someone whom we are not..this is not to say that we need to be pretentious..NO! What I meant was..even though we may feel insecure..or hopeless..or nervous..we must be able to hide such feelings and portray more positive ones when we are in class. Looking at the scenario of today's classroom, I believe that there is no room for us to tremble..what more to tumble over. We need to be able to put on a mask, and put on a show.. we need to be confident! It is not an easy thing do..and I feel that I will need a lot of practice before i become a good actor in the classroom. But i believe it is something that all teachers need to be able to do. Talking about how we present ourselves to the public and to the class (specifically), another important aspect is our dressing. I do accept the fact that we have to comply to the dress code set by the ministry of education and the teacher education division..but I believe that it should not be an excuse for us to dress shabbily. I mean just because you cannot wear anything fancy like skinny jeans, it doesn't mean that you should just wear an unfit pair of trousers and a too-big-of-a-size shirt..or just wear a skirt that doesn't fit your height and a checkered blouse that makes you look like a christmas present! My point is..even though we are 'just' teachers (as most people would say), the way we present ourselves is nevertheless important. I believe that by dressing smartly, we can attract students' attention. I mean if students look at us disgustingly, how are we going to ensure that they are interested in listening to what we preach? right?? I am not saying that we should wear thomas pink's shirt or a gucci bag or a pair of Christian Louboutin's stiletto heels..NO! I mean realistically?? (duh!) We just need to dress smartly..that's it. In a way, this will help to improve the image of the teaching profession which has been negatively affected by many things in recent years. Again, i am not saying that I am a well-dressed person..no..definitely NOT. this is a reminder to myself and it is just a thought..my opinion..and I am not imposing what I think and believe to others..

SMILE

Have you ever felt that your day is a wonderful one when someone smiles back at you? Or when you are walking to class or to work and then someone greeted you 'good morning' and you immediately feel like your day is sooo bright?? My point is that a smile or a greeting can make someone else's day..and in fact in can make YOUR day. Just imagine you start you day with a sullen face and you go to class walking straight without looking around..avoiding any form of eye contact with other people..wouldn't it make your day even duller? C'mon..don't deny it! This is a point that I seldom forget..I mean my dad always say this to me..but as a normal human being, I tend to forget. After all, to err is human. Getting back to my point, is it soo hard to smile? I mean even though you don't really know that someone but if you keep on bumping into one another..why not give a smile or a nod at least..I mean isn't it something that should be naturally done? Im not saying that we should senyum suka2 hati or rather sengeh tak tentu pasal..it's just that I think we should ringan2 kan sikit diri untuk senyum..even raihan pun suruh kite senyum..betol x? =P As a socialized being..we must always remember that we are not living alone and that what we do will somehow affect other people around us. In fact, smiling can even help us make new friends! Isn't that something good? So my fellow friends..let us start our day with a smile (This is indeed a reminder to myself especially)..hopefully it will bring about lots of happiness..insyaAllah..

weding bells

So far..4 of my coursemates have gotten married.. At first, I didnt feel anything..I mean of course I am happy for them and that I pray that their wedding will last..What I meant was that it has never struck me before that I am actually a grown-up! It suddenly came to me that I have finished school almost 6 years ago and that I am now in my final year of degree..like SERIOUSLY?? hahaha. How time flies..and every year we are all getting one year older. And now..more of my friends are getting married.. Thinking about the days when we first enrolled in IPBA..you know, dgn macam2 perangai, macam2 kes..semua pun mcm x mature lagi..but now, semua dah nak kahwin dah. How we have all grown! When I think about it, I do miss the times when we were younger..carefree..no strings attached.. going out together..buat bising in the library together..and many more immature stuffs... and now everyone's getting married already!! hahaha. I know that I might be repeating this over and over again..but RAMAI DAH NAK KAHWIN!! =P I feel old! hahaha. Whatever it is..hope this friendship will last and I wish my soon-to-be-married friends all the best! May your wedding be blessed and with that comes tons of happiness. =) As for me..sorry peeps..lambat lagi.. *wink*

::of facial and funeral::

The title of this post may sound a bit confusing or it might be hard to find a link between the two. Well, let me explain..I went for a facial with my mom . I was excited of course, imagining my face being cleansed, scrubbed, etc. to perfection (duh!). The first half an hour was ok..but then my back started to ache as a result of lying down on a small bed for too long. However, I managed to go through it calmly (macam undergo operation je kan?? hahaha. gedx!). Then when it was time to wear the mask..I thought my eyes will be left 'untouched' but rupa-rupanya, after placing the net on my face, my eyes were closed with the cotton tissue and the mask was spread on my face, including my eyes! so mmg i couldnt open my eyes for the next half an hour..plus i could not move my face. So I started to panick and I felt a bit suffocated..seriously i felt like I was placed in a coffin ALIVE! So I requested for my eyes to be left uncovered so that i could open it once in a while..luckily org tu bagi. I could not imagine if I was not allowed to do so. That was when I realized that i really am - to a certain extent - a claustrophobic. And eventhough I might sound 'mcm tah pape', but trust me, I did gain keinsafan. It really made me think of death..and how will it really be like when I am burried in the grave. I mean at that time nothing else matters, except our faith, our good deeds and the mercy of Allah. What more, i was left alone in the room.. and since it was kinda quiet, once in a while I could hear footsteps..which - metaphorically -made me think of the arrival of Munkar and Nakir to question us in the grave. It really made me reflect on the things that i have done in my life and to be honest, i've never thought that I would experience anything like that while having a facial.. I am not trying to say that I have now become an entirely good person; my main intention of sharing my experience is to send across the message to my fellow brothers and sisters that our life will soon come to an end..and that we don't know when that would be.