friends

I met with a classmate of mine when i was in high school last week.. we had dinner and we chatted like we’ve not met for 20 years..and we had fun. While he was driving me back home, it suddenly struck us that we have known each other for about eight years and we still contact each other! I mean, even when we studied abroad at different places, and there was this one time when we didn’t contact each other because he changed his mobile phone without informing me (trust me..he got a bashing from me..), we are still friends! I know that some people have been friends for like twenty years and thus, me, knowing my friend for 8 years is like nothing..but i just find it amazing how people can retain friendship..don’t you? I don’t know whether this is an amazing thing or is it just me who is easily amazed by even the smallest thing..but it’s just amazing!

Talking about friendship..if i was asked about a thing that I have learned from friendship.. I would say I learned that I just need to be nice..sincerely nice to others..then only will others be nice to me.. As a normal human being, I cannot deny that at certain times I do expect something from my friends..such as expecting them to do the same as I what i did to them ( the nice things of course).. but then I have started to realize that everyone is different..and that everyone have different ways of being nice.. so it may not be fair for them to be expected to do the same thing.. In fact, when we keep on expecting and hoping..in the end we are the ones who will get hurt..trust me..i’ve been there and i’ve felt that.. I know feeling sad and disappointed is part of life..and that it makes you human..but what is there to live when you keep on feeling sad, right? So after years and years of living..and learning from it..I have learned and am still learning not to have many expectations.. I think it’s better to just go with the flow and enjoy every moment..time is too precious to be filled with unresolved sorrows...don’t you think so?

I believe this is a good opportunity for me to express my gratitude for being blessed with wonderful friends.. some i’ve known since primary school, some i’ve known since I entered tertiary education and some whom i’ve just known recently..I am really thankful for having the opportunity to meet these wonderful people who are not just nice..but also who just can’t stop laughing and cracking jokes.. and making me smile... hope we won’t get into serious fights! Hahaha.

decisions

In life, there are many decisions that we have to make.. from the smallest matters such as deciding what to eat, what to drink, what to wear..to deciding major stuffs such as to get married or not to..haha. In simpler words, we will encounter many instances in our everyday lives that entail us to decide. Personally, I think it’s not easy to decide. At times, it’s so difficult to even decide what to eat and what to wear that I end up taking everything out of my closet and yet, in the end, I still can’t decide what to wear...hard isn’t it?

I remembered when I had to decide on which course I want to take after my SPM..I had a hard time. I was torn with so many choices and it was worsened by my own self – I didn’t know what I want to do! So what happened was I got excited to take course A.. then when i woke up the next morning..I changed my mind and I chose to take Course B.. then when someone told me to check out another course..I got excited to take up Course C.. and my head kept on spinning! It was such a headache!

Whether we realize it or not, whatever things that we decide shape our lives. For example, if we choose to eat spicy food when we know that we can’t stand them, we may end up suffering from stomach ache..which we will not have to endure f we didn’t decide to eat spicy food. If we choose to wear a t-shirt when we know that the weather will be cold, we may end up freezing (not good..trust me) which we may not have to suffer if we decided to wear a jacket instead. It’s even more difficult when we need to decide whether to change or to stick to our old habit.. Saying that ‘I want to change’ is one thing.. but CHANGING ie the action being taken is another thing.. are we bold enough? Are we ready? Are we able to endure what the people around us will say? Sometimes we want to change but because of various doubts..we decide not to.. and again our lives are affected.. So i guess these examples is enough to show that what we choose to do or decide on will shape the course of our everyday lives and even our future.

It’s easy to say that in order to decide, we have to list all the pros and the cons.. but do we really have time to do that? I mean most of the time we need to decide on the spot and without rational and intelligent judgment, we may end up making wrong decisions. This is another thing.. I feel that making wrong decisions are not that bad..because everyone makes mistakes..nobody’s perfect. Maybe, the only problem is when we keep on making wrong choices.. well if this happens, i think we need to reflect and see what went wrong. I mean we don’t want to get stuck in bad situations caused by our own decisions and then live miserably, do we? Just my thought..

::random ramblings::

I don't know how long has it been since i last posted something..but i'm sure it's long..haha. been very busy with so many things that i had to neglect this blog for a while..hoping that once everything is done..i will be able to write lots and lots of stuff..BUT..i don't know what to write! well i guess when you have sooo many things that you can talk about..it makes it even harder to decide..and you end up with nothing..sad isn't it? so i guess i'll start this 'new beginning' by writing anything that crosses my mind:

1. the exam is over now! I was a bit stressed up actually because I just sat for one online test last year..and this year the whole examination condition was really different and the anxiety was high! trust me..I couldn't even take my eyes off my notes for scared of forgotting what i have read..i know it sounds a bit nerdy and geek-ish..but this is the kind of anxiety that I feel whenever i am about to sit for exams..can't imagine what kids at schools feel given that they have to sit for numerous examinations.. *sigh* a change in the education system maybe?

2. now that the exam is over..i have started to feel nervous because i will start my practicum soon.. i'll be facing the real thing now..the actual platform for integrating all the knowledge and skills learned for the past five years.. will I be able to pull it off? will I be able to perform to my fullest? anxiety, anticipation, determination, doubt..all intertwined..creating a mixture of feelings that is hard to describe... plus, i'll be completing my degree really soon. I don't know how exactly do i feel about this..but I am actually a bit sad..I enjoyed my life as a student.. and I am definitely gonna miss my dear course mates as well as my wonderful new friends who have made my life even much more worth living..

3. the fun part: I have not felt so free and relaxed when I eat, chat, shop, etc. like I do now. I have been eating quite a lot lately..and I don't know why I keep on feeling hungry.. I guess it's good and it's bad at the same time..haha..BUT it's kinda good actually because before, I tended to rush through all these stuffs becasue EXAM and ASSIGNMENTS keep on appearing at the back of my head..clouding all my thoughts and hampering all my excitement..i know I am exaggerating but this clearly expresses what I felt..

There are many things that I want to share..so many things pouring into my thoughts right now.. and everything is mixed up! hahaha. so i will need to clear my mind and organize my thoughts and will write more soon! till then...