the first three weeks

I actually planned to write this like three weeks ago..but it's only today that I managed to gather enough strength to force myself to sit in front of my laptop and move my finger muscles to write something. so, here I am..I'M BACK! (yeay! i guess..).

So, it's been three weeks since the day I officially started my work as an English teacher at SMK Bandar Penawar Kota Tinggi Johore. The first week there was really emotional. I was already shcoked when I got to know that I was posted to Johore. Then, another shock came when I got to know of my school which is situated about only 5 km away from Desaru. I am sure by now you pretty much have an idea of the location of my school right? It's quite towards the end of Johore. So ya..there you go.. it's like whenever I think of it.. there's a voice in my head telling me 'Ambek kau!'..hahaha.

Basically, the first week was about dealing with emotions. It's about trying to accept the fact that I will be working for who-knows-how-many years there. It's about adapting to a totally new environment (quiet, slow-paced, pasar borong 'sakan', oil palm trees). It's about re-adapting myself to living-in-the-asrama environment which I never thought I will be experiencing again. It's about convincing myself that one week is not that long (truthfully, one week there feels like a year). To be honest, it's really exhausting as I feel like I'm in a constant battle with myself, trying to hide away all those feelings, trying to be happy and grateful, and trying to build a shield to the homesick attack that often strikes. It's tough..it really is BUT everytime I feel down, I always remind myself of a verse from the Holy Quran which means:

"Allah does not burden any human being with more than he is well able to bear"
(Al-Baqarah, verse 286)

As they say, every cloud has its silver lining. Being posted there actually made me more grateful of the things that I enjoy and have in my hometown, Selangor. It's not that all these while I take everything for granted..NO. It just makes me appreciate things more. Now that I'm back for the holidays, I really feel grateful that there's EMPIRE gallery in subang, there's Plaza Masalam, There's Coffe Bean almost everywhere (*gedik mode*), there's One Utama, there's IKEA where I can enjoy meatballs (nyum2), there's Giant at almost every district and that they are reachable and most importantly, I appreciate the time that I get to spend with my family much much more. It's really valuable that I just don't know how to explain or to describe it. I think you know how it feels.

Well I guess I need to start anew after this holiday. I need to start my day at school with high spirits and ikhlaskan hati, for insyaAllah, when there's sincerity, everything will be good. To all my friends out there who are in the same boat as me, lets do our best. Lets keep ourselves occupied so that we can keep our mind off all the negativity and the unsettled emotions that we might feel if we just sit and do nothing. Lets be productive! May Allah help us..amiin..